05.13.16 - Monster Truck

Cars that Don’t Earn the “Mom” Seal of Approval

You can only imagine how quickly a car won’t get an approval from most mothers. Unless you have a mother who is a gear head that loves the smell of fumes and wants to see just how much power and torque she can get from her latest sports car, not likely, you will only get her approval if the car is sufficiently safe with record for keeping everyone aboard from getting hurt. Sorry mothers, there is just too much horsepower and fun for us to have on the market today and while some of the European exotics would make obvious choices as cars you don’t want us to drive, here are some that might have slipped past your view but still don’t get your approval.

Dodge Viper SRTHere is a car that is as slippery as it is fast. With a monstrous 8.4-liter V10 engine under the hood that gives you a full 645 horsepower and 600 lb.-ft. of torque this car is one that has more power than any mother will ever approve of. Not only is this machine loud, fast, and designed to look like a sports car it’s also one of the most difficult cars to drive on any road and it even has a side-exit exhaust that can burn you if you aren’t careful creating another disapproving look from mom for that exhaust.

Mitsubishi MirageNow what’s wrong with this car? This car offers a small engine which means you get great gas mileage and it doesn’t look like a sports car or even act like one. The problem with the Mirage is the safety factor. This is one of the only cars on the market that gets a Poor rating from the IIHS crash test and has been known to cause drivers and passengers to get hurt. Never mind the fact that you can have good gas mileage, if mom’s baby isn’t protected on the road it’s not going to meet with her approval at all.

Monster Truck – While there are various degrees of Monster Trucks, most of them will never be “Mom Approved”. These trucks are loud and obnoxious on the road and just look like they are ready to roll over. Even if you took the approved safety precautions and were a driver of one of the monster trucks that is in the shows at arenas around the country chances are your mother would not approve at all. Of course lifting your truck and putting on mud tires will probably make for a monster truck in mom’s view, which will still be met with disapproval as a vehicle that looks like it’s ready to help you get in trouble and you really don’t need any help in this department.

Vehicles with an Active Recall – When your mother knows what kind of car you drive she probably spent some time looking it up and checking to see if it has any active recalls you need to take care of. Until you have the recall fixed your phone probably won’t stop ringing as she tells you horror stories about others with the same vehicle that were in horrific accidents when driving the same vehicle. You have to love your mother for caring about you, but a vehicle with an active recall will just have her worried about you more than normal, God forbid if the car had a second or third recall on it.

Vehicles that Can Easily fit a Mattress – Your mom probably wants to view you as innocent as possible for as long as she can, but they make some great mattresses that inflate in the back seat of a crew cab truck or large sedan so you can easily “go camping” when you want to. She will see this not as a good thing, but as a way for you to make her feel older and turn her into a grandmother. Just keep the fact you have an inflatable mattress in the back to yourself and your mom just might not give you too much grief unless you drive a panel van with no seats in the back and it’s not for work.

Mothers are the only people in our lives that truly worry about us and our well-being at all times, at least until we get married and then hopefully our spouse will take some of the burden as well. While we all love our mothers and admire their enthusiasm for taking care of us we certainly want to have some fun and live a little. Although, the recalls and the crashing Mirage don’t sound like good choices to me either and I’m not a mother, but when it comes to speed and a great place to sleep it’s time to have some fun, you just might not want your mother to find out.

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